“Life is much easier when we genuinely like ourselves.”

Women in particular often suffer from impostor syndrome. It is the dreadful feeling of: I am not good enough. I do not deserve this job. Over time, this drains energy, self confidence, and often visibility. Through her coaching work, Katherine Starks knows how to reduce impostor feelings and build greater self appreciation.

Katherine Starks offers coaching for ambitious teams and leaders. She is also active with Fondsfrauen in the Senior Professionals working group. Previously, she held various leadership positions in the financial industry, most recently as Head of Asset Servicing, Germany, Switzerland, Austria at BNY Mellon.

Katherine, what exactly is impostor syndrome, and how does it commonly show up for women in professional life?

It is the dreadful feeling: I am not good enough. I do not deserve this job. Why am I even in this role? I could be exposed at any moment. This creates anxiety and often leads to a kind of paralysis because we fall into fear and panic.

Have you personally experienced impostor syndrome? If so, what were the consequences?

Yes, absolutely. I had it almost my entire life. The difficult part is that our environment often reinforces these feelings. I kept thinking: I need to work harder because others are better than me. One advantage, however, is that impostor feelings push us to constantly improve. I took courses, read books, and continuously educated myself.

So impostor syndrome has a positive side?

Yes, it does. The positive side is that women feel pressure to keep improving, take additional courses, and read more professional books. That is one reason why we now have so many highly competent female leaders.

The downside is constant self doubt. It creates chronic stress, keeps the nervous system in a state of alertness, and prevents achievements from truly landing. Successes are minimized, competence feels borrowed, and the bar keeps moving higher. Over time, this drains energy, confidence, and visibility, exactly what women in leadership positions need.

Now you offer coaching. How many of your clients struggle with impostor syndrome?

I believe everyone experiences it in some form. In my coaching practice, almost all clients have some version of “I am not good enough.” Especially women often think: My colleagues are better than me. I do not know enough. I have flaws.

How was it for you when you became self employed as a coach?

I now have four years of coaching experience. In the beginning, there were many typical doubts: Can you really make money with coaching? How will you pay your bills? Those are classic impostor thoughts.

I learned to consciously question my thoughts and gradually think differently. Over time I realized that the right clients find me at the right time, and I can pay my bills without overworking myself. That proves it is possible. You can work on it.

Wie hast Du das Imposter-Syndrom bei Dir ablegen können?

Through coaching, therapy, and a lot of self reflection, and honestly also through getting older, these feelings gradually dissolved. Today they are practically gone.

At the same time, I overcame other challenges. At one point I weighed 95 kilos. Both impostor feelings and being overweight were overcome by becoming kinder to myself and practicing self love.

It is a process we all can learn. Less self criticism, more self acceptance. Accept your starting point and move forward from there instead of constantly fighting yourself.

How did you overcome impostor syndrome personally?

We women all have a long mirror. I give my clients the task of standing in front of the mirror every morning and talking to themselves. “I think you’re great. You look great! You have great legs, they carry you through life.” You’ll see, it really does something to you. With self-love, topics like imposter feelings are easiest to overcome.

How can someone practically work on self love?

We are born as happy babies. During childhood and adolescence, doubts arise: I am not good enough. Often even our parents unintentionally contribute because we have to prove ourselves at school, in sports, and so on. Society reinforces it, sometimes men, but often other women. Over time it almost becomes normal to feel not good enough. I have worked a lot on my self acceptance. Life becomes much easier when we genuinely like ourselves.

What workplace factors contribute most to impostor syndrome in women?

Many. Women are often reduced to their appearance. Social media intensifies constant comparison. There are photoshopped images and extremely attractive people we compare ourselves to. Also, many managers focus too much on weaknesses and criticize more than they praise. Studies show this happens more often to women than men. That is poor management. Leaders should focus more on strengths, especially in annual reviews.

Do men suffer from impostor syndrome as well?

Some do. But for many men, appearance plays a smaller role. A man might look in the mirror with 25 kilos overweight and say, “Looks fine to me.”

Are men and women perceived differently when it comes to impostor syndrome?

Sometimes leaders find it convenient to have someone who cannot say no because they can overload them with work. Often this happens unconsciously. That is why leaders have responsibility: to strengthen people, help them feel good enough, and encourage healthy boundaries.

When I was a manager, I sometimes sent employees home when I noticed they were overworking. It is a leader’s responsibility not to exploit excessive willingness to work, even if it seems practical.

What are the effects of impostor syndrome?

The biggest effect is either shrinking ourselves or overperforming to prove ourselves. That creates immense pressure. It can also lead to a great deal of knowledge and competence because of constant self improvement.

Impostor feelings are also noticeable to others. We are social beings. People sense when we believe we are not good enough. That can cause us to be taken less seriously at work. It affects salary negotiations. If you believe you do not deserve your current salary, you will not ask for a raise. This also impacts self employed women when setting their hourly rates.

How do you work with clients who struggle with impostor syndrome?

First, we question the thought. The feeling is real, but it is not necessarily the truth. I ask: What beliefs accompany this thought? Often it is “I am not good enough.” Then we work on interrupting that mental autopilot. You can learn to decide whether to believe a thought. We also explore what emotions these thoughts create in the body.

Next, we find more realistic alternatives, often in small steps. Instead of “I am not good enough,” perhaps “In some areas, I am already good enough.” The key is practice, repeatedly questioning your negative story and allowing yourself to think differently.

What long term effects can impostor syndrome have on career and wellbeing?

Constant negative thoughts create anxiety and panic, for example fear of losing your job. Anxiety leads to paralysis and procrastination. You might scroll LinkedIn comparing yourself to others. That creates a negative spiral.

When you learn to love yourself, you radiate calmness and confidence. From that place, genuine interest in others emerges. That self connection is magnetic, while impostor feelings repel. That is why working consciously on these inner patterns is worthwhile.

What steps can women take to free themselves from impostor syndrome?

I keep a daily journal, not a to do list, but a done list. With a to do list you start in deficit. With a done list you start in surplus. A done list feels good, professionally and personally. For example, “Yesterday I managed that meeting well.” It proves to yourself that you are capable.

Are there books or resources you recommend?

A very helpful book is Self Coaching 101 by Brooke Castillo. It helps you examine your thoughts in a structured way. The central idea is that when we change our thoughts, our emotions and behavior change. Positive thoughts are not automatic, they require conscious practice.

I also find the meditations of Joe Dispenza very powerful. They work directly with thought and emotional patterns and help train new internal states.

Change happens through repetition. Our habitual thought patterns are deeply rooted, so it takes practice, patience, and willingness to repeatedly choose what we want to think

Why do we think so negatively about ourselves?

Evolutionarily, our brain is designed for survival and reproduction. That is not enough for a fulfilling modern life. Our mind produces thoughts continuously, and about two thirds are critical or negative. These programs run automatically, which is why it is crucial to notice and question them.

When I catch myself being self critical, I pause and ask: Is that really true? What else is true? What am I good at? What went well today? Even this small reflection shifts the focus from self criticism to reality and self efficacy.

Thank you, Kathie, for these positive insights and inspirations.

Goodie: Katherine Starks offers the first interested readers 30 minutes of free coaching. She uses Calendly for booking, and here is the link: https://calendly.com/katherinestarks/30-min-fondsfrauen

Foto: Katherine Starks (2026)

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